my complicated moods

As I’m close to my periods, I get easily panicked and complicated moods.

Like right now I don’t know what to do.
Ive just realized something important as I write this: I should take these days as passive, non-creative, day-pass days. My brains just don’t work. It upsets if thinking it has to try to cram lotz of Japanese materials into the mind. It upsets to think I have to change m ways of studying from this moment.

But It can clean up the house, wash ourselves, wash clothes, make some wonderful food. Can it? (Thanks husband for saying that the food soup is fantastic).

Talking about soup for the soul, I suddenly realized I could write something for “soup for the soul book” and get 200USD if it gets published! OK, I want to write about my mum and me. This is how the story twist-and-turn

I thought she was a terrible mum when I was young. Growing up, I cannot imagine the presure that goes through her life and forgive her all and gradually love her back with my full heart and enjoys every moment of having a mum. Then she got mentally ill and my life again was completely messed up. I moved out and then got back, grow outof myself to be “her mum” and got her through (partially) her mental illness. Does this story have enough twist-and-turn? –> for just 200USD does it worth to write it outloud?

I was 7, the oldest child, when my mum gave birth to her forth daughter. As if it’s not enough, her life was “dangled” (a word needed here, with meaning like “chat len lung con bo`) with an unsuccesful husband that she saw twice a year, no career and no regular pay job,  and worst of all, a bad-temper. Looking back, those intersting summary of my mum’s life is a reflection of my miserable childhood, but back then, I didn’t know why I was treated so miserably. I remember etc.

Anyway, the idea that some idea can actually give me some money, no matter how small, feels really good.

I’ll get back to my complicated moods. So basicallyI shouldn’t start any new things, trying to come up with a plan, a schedule or any of that sorts. TOday I have to book the ticket to HK and have only one morning left to try out HK one more time makes me really sad. But more time there meanings I will have to wander around alone, how boring! So after all going to HK is all about this opportunity rather than an travel plan!!! How sad!!!!!

And I have one more day free to use on my accor card and I may not have the opportunity to use it!!! Maybe it’s already expired! Annoying ahhhhhhhh!

And my Japanese going nowhere!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ok enough. I’ll do the following in the next hour:

-take a tablet of multi. Have some yogurt

-Take the blanket out of the washing machine

-Wash the dishes.

-Push the house in order (if possible).

Wish I’m pregnant instead ahhhhhhh!

That’s how much thoughts running through my mind within 5 mins!!!!

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